Frozen Inside
by Galux Phoenix
Summary: Songfic to Bring Me To Life by Evanesence. Kai was in love with Caitlin before she disappeared, five years later she turns up as a maid, will they be able to repair their relationship? KaiOC a bit of RM. R


FROZEN INSIDE  
  
By Galux Phoenix!  
  
I wrote this for my bestest buddy Galux Kitty because she started this to cheer me up a bit, but never got around to finishing it so I'm doing it instead!  
  
Hope you enjoy this, girl! This fic will be Ray/Mariah and Kai/OC (Caitlin) I don't own Beyblade, I only own Caitlin. You ~may~ have to read some of my other stuff {Exchange Students} if you want to get the Kai/OC in this fic, though it'll probably confuse you even more. And I apologise if Kai is OOC, couldn't help it . . . ^_^"  
  
"Speech"  
  
'Thoughts'  
  
General Narration  
  
Let's get going!  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Time is a healer. It gives you time to lament on actions that you enjoyed and those that you regret; especially those that have hurt people that you love most. However, sometimes time just make the cherished memories more painful to contemplate. This was true in the cases of one particular couple, both of the people deciding to shape their own destiny. Some people live out their dreams, while others drown in lamentation, self-pity and pain, forgetting their purposes and merely doing nothing. And so, this story begins...  
  
Kai Hiwatari stared through the wine, the crystal of the flute glass stained blood red from the many drinks it had once contained, and indeed the one it contained at this point in time. This was the way he had always seen the world: red. Angry. Despised by so many people, inclusive of himself at this current point. His mahogany eyes trailed up to the butler that was standing about two metres away, casting a concerned look at his superior. Having inherited his grandfather's entire estate after his greatly rejoiced death, Kai was now easily one of the richest men in the country and possibly the world. And yet, he was not happy...  
  
He considered his youth; being happy with the friends he didn't bother keeping contact with anymore. He hadn't seen them for many years and pretended he didn't care. As far as he could guess, Ray and Mariah were probably married, Max and Emily were probably married and Tyson and Hilary were probably married. In fact, everyone in the world was probably happily married to the person they loved so dearly, and once again, he was the only unhappy soul in the entire world. And yet...  
  
He could have been happy... with her. Caitlin. The first and last girl he would probably ever truly care about. It made him angry to think that they had both followed their own selfish desires instead of staying together, which was where there rightful places were. He felt his grip tighten on the glass that was still captive in his hand, saw his knuckles had whitened due to the pressure and saw his gaze harden in the reflection of himself that the glass provided.  
  
"Are you alright, sir?" Kai's eyes widened and he heard his own sharp, shocked intake of breath. The butler was looking down on his master with a professional, steely kind of concern. Kai felt the anger that had been imprisoned inside him for almost five years demand to be set free... on anything... It flashed through him like fire and he felt the expensive glass in his left hand crack slightly due to the determined grip he had around its stem. Kai then took aim and heaved the glass with all the strength he could muster at his employee. The butler managed to dodge just in time before it hit the wall behind him, smashing to pieces and flying everywhere, the blood red liquid it had contained oozing onto the carpet and down the walls.  
  
"How dare you question me when you are not asked! Get out of my sight!"  
  
The butler did so, obviously terrified. Kai watched the bloodlike liquid trickle down the walls, staining the perfect white a sickly crimson colour. He turned away, feeling faintly guilty for what he had just done. However, he couldn't shake off the feeling that he wanted to see her again... why? They had called it quits so long ago the very proposition seemed utter ridicule... plus the prospects were grim- Caitlin would not get found unless she wished to be found. It was late at night... he'd sleep on it and try to do something in the morning. He retired to his chambers and fell into perturbed slumber...  
  
~*~*~  
  
"Aw... shit!" the dark-haired girl snapped to no one in particular, except her motorbike. It now had a large scratch down the side. The two crossed scythes previously encrypted on the sides were now a blade and a stick. She hadn't considered the fact until now, but she had had a perpetual stream of misfortune ever since she had broken contact with her friends; however, the only reason she'd done that was for self-protection.  
  
She hated doing it, but she had to. All of them would have suffered even more if she hung around for any longer. Caitlin paused and looked down at her damaged bike once more. She loved the feeling of the wind in her hair, that's why she bought the bike in the first place. That and the fact she could get away from the world she left behind easier. And get away from all the friends she had ever cared for, and all the lies that she had told them.  
  
With another sigh Caitlin let her mind drift to all of the people she had ever cared for. All the people she had loved. But there had been only one person she had truly ever been in love with.  
  
Kai.  
  
The very name still sent shivers down her spine. Caitlin could never forget, even if she wanted to, the way his arms would fit around her, the way his lips covered hers, and the way they had been almost hopelessly in love. Though it all came to an end. An end she wanted to pretend never happened. She wished she could just run straight back into his loving arms, though she knew she couldn't. He probably hated her by now, no matter how much she still loved him.  
  
With a slump of her slender shoulders, Caitlin parked her bike in its spot and headed up the stairs to her apartment. She unlocked the two locks on her door with brisk efficiency. Sorting out all of her mail, Caitlin noticed that there was a letter from her parents.  
  
"Uh oh." She cursed them in a multitude of languages. A letter from her parents went that they wanted her to do something for them. Something that wasn't necessary on the right side of the law.  
  
They thought that since they had trained her in the ways of thievery that she would obey every single thing they asked her to do. She skimmed through the letter, and her eyes widened. "Oh, no. No, no, no." she shock her head in disbelief.  
  
They wanted her to head out of Tokyo and go back to Yokohama.  
  
They wanted her to pose as a maid in the Hiwatari mansion.  
  
They wanted her to report back on Kai and his every move.  
  
Her own parents wanted her to confront the past that she had tried to leave behind for the past five years.  
  
~*~*~*  
  
"Sir?" Kai's butler asked carefully. Kai had been awake for most of the night thinking about what could have happened if Caitlin did stay with him instead of disappearing. He thought about what he would say if he ever saw her again.  
  
"What is it, Charles?" Kai had calmed down since he had thrown his wine glass at his butler, and Charles could almost hear the regret in his employer's voice.  
  
"There is a new maid that has been hired to wait on you. Would you like for her to be presented to you in the main lounge now, or would you prefer to review her later?" Charles looked at Kai and saw that he was still in a testy mood, despite his regret.  
  
"Later. Can I go back to bed now?" Kai paused and blinked. He almost sounded like Tyson when he said it like that.  
  
"Of course, sir."  
  
~*~How can you see into my eyes like open doors,  
  
Leading you down into my core,  
  
Where I've become so numb without a soul,  
  
My spirit sleeping somewhere cold,  
  
Until you find it there and lead it back home wake me up inside,  
  
Wake me up inside. ~*~  
  
Kai started to wonder what this new maid looked like and if she could help him to get over her. He doubted it, but anything was worth a try if it meant that he could get on with his life instead of brooding all the time.  
  
He rolled over and tried to get back to sleep, but to no avail. Once his thoughts started to drift to Caitlin he wouldn't be able to do anything properly for hours. So he decided to do the one thing that always calmed his temper down. Beyblading.  
  
Kai grabbed Dranzer from the drawer he had been placed in and the launcher that sat next to it. He moved through the hallways of his mansion with grace and pride. The beyblading room, the one Kai had installed in the basement, was as it always was, empty. Just the way he liked to have it.  
  
He launched Dranzer more forcefully than he had meant to, and the blade rebounded around the dish for a few seconds before it spun in the centre of the dish. A small smile crept over Kai's lips. How good it made him feel to be aware of the power his blade radiated as it spun.  
  
He stood there and launched and relaunched his blue beyblade for at least an hour, relaxing more with each launch. When at last he called his beyblade back in and headed for the door, he decided that he was going to stop by the kitchens and get something to eat.  
  
~*~*~*  
  
Meanwhile, Caitlin grumbled obscenities under her breath as she pulled on the uniform she was supposed to wear. The pale blue blouse she had was cut a little lower than she would like, and the navy blue skirt she had have on was cut above the knee and showed quite a bit of leg. No good. She glared at Charles for making her wear it in the first place then got to work doing the breakfast dishes.  
  
~*~ Call my name and save me from the dark,  
  
Bid my blood to run,  
  
Before I come undone,  
  
Save me from the nothing I've become. ~*~  
  
She muttered even more curses under her breath as she scrubbed plates and cups. The nerve of her parents! Why couldn't they send someone else to do their damn dirty work? "Go and keep an eye on the Hiwatari for us would you, Caitlin?" she imitated then went back to her muttering. "Stupid idiots. One day I'm going to show them what they can do with their next assignment. They'll wish that they never had me."  
  
She heard one of the doors open and close as someone walked in. "Is there anything to eat in here?" a smooth male voice asked her with no particular interest. A very familiar voice it was too.  
  
Caitlin struggled to keep her own voice clam. "I wouldn't know, I've only been here for an hour. I suggest that you try the cupboards or the fridge, but that's only what I'd do."  
  
The corners of Kai's lips twitched up slightly. He liked this girl's sense of humour, even if it was sarcastic. He opened a cupboard then frowned. That voice was really familiar, as if he had heard it before. Closing the door again, he looked at his new maid. Her back was to him, and her dark brown hair was tied in a high ponytail so it just brushed her shoulders, looked like it would fell like silk, he couldn't see the colour of her eyes but he had a gut feeling that they were bright green. The way she carried herself showed that she could defend herself if it was necessary. A sigh drew him out of his thoughts, and he looked at her.  
  
"Why did he make me wash dishes? I hate washing dishes." Caitlin frowned slightly.  
  
"Because there isn't anyone else to do them." Kai's tone was slightly colder than necessary. Caitlin flinched.  
  
"Sorry, sir. I know a lowly maid like me shouldn't speak to one's employer like that, forgive me." She looked at the plate she was cleaning as if it was the sole purpose of her life. Kai was puzzled, though he wouldn't show it. One minute she was sharp and fierce the next she was shy and weak.  
  
"Look at me."  
  
"I do not deserve to look at a person of your standing," Caitlin mumbled, always the lowly servant.  
  
"Damn it, woman! Look at me." Kai was starting to lose his well- controlled temper. And she did look at him. At seventeen he looked hot, but at twenty- three he was down right handsome. And he was as closed off as he always was.  
  
Her bright green eyes were masked from him, as was the rest of her face. Though he could tell that there were emotions swimming behind the mask. "There are many things you need to explain, Caitlin."  
  
"And there are a lot of things I care not to say, Kai." She turned back to this dishes she was supposed to be washing.  
  
Just as he was about to say something else, Charles opened the kitchen door and frowned. "If you wished for something to eat, Master Kai, you should have rung for me. How much more have to got to do there, girl?"  
  
"Just this last plate, Charles," Caitlin replied, and Kai noticed that she had gone back to being shy and quiet.  
  
"Good. When you finish that you can start cleaning Master Kai's rooms."  
  
"Yes, Charles." She rinsed the plate off and put it on the drying rack. Charles nodded and turned around to attend to whatever he would do next. Caitlin dried her hands on a towel and headed towards the door. Then she paused in the doorway.  
  
"I'm sorry for what I did last time." And with that she was out the door, heading towards Kai's rooms. Kai stood there; he was shocked because he heard just how sincere she was when she said. She really did regret leaving; at least now he knew she still had a heart.  
  
With a mental sigh he went outside to sit in the small forest at the back of his property. He weaved his way through the bushes and trees with the ease of long practice. Kai emerge in a small clearing and he walked over to a small stone bench under a tree. He sat down and looked down at his hands.  
  
'I wish I could stay angry with her, but I can't. So what she disappeared and lied to us, she's sorry for it, and this time she really does mean it. Caitlin never really was one for apologising and when she did it was mainly sarcastic, and now she really does mean it. She's even more confusion than what she was!'  
  
Kai groaned. "Why can't she be like every other woman?" he asked the air in front of him, frustrated.  
  
'Because she isn't like any other woman on this planet, master. You above all should know that. After all you're the one who wants to have her as your own,' Dranzer told him, mentally.  
  
"How many times do I have to tell you not to do that, Dranzer?" Kai asked.  
  
His bit beast chuckled in return. 'You are not denying it then, that you care for her? I knew we should have kept you together.'  
  
~*~ Now that I know what I'm without,  
  
You can't just leave me,  
  
Breathe into me and make me real,  
  
Bring me to life. ~*~  
  
Kai sigh aloud this time. His bit beast sure got annoying without trying, though Dranzer had a point there. He could never -would never- deny that he cared for Caitlin more than anyone could know. He just wished that he could tell her that.  
  
'Tell her if you love her so much, Kai,' Dranzer told him, his tone gentle and kind.  
  
"It's more complex than that, Dranzer. I have to get her to explain why she left first. I'd like to think on my own for a little while now, so that means that you can go do something that doesn't involve me." Kai leaned back so his back rested against the tree.  
  
'If you say so,' Dranzer said with amusement, as he complied. Kai closed his eyes and thought about how he could get his past girlfriend, now maid to stay with him, at least until they sorted out their lives. And his idea about life was that she would be in it.  
  
~*~*~*  
  
Caitlin had finished cleaning his rooms when Kai headed back towards the mansion. And they were spotless. The bed was perfectly made and everything scattered around had been place in their rightful places. "She's good," he muttered softly.  
  
Kai walked into the bathroom that led off his bedroom and stript off his clothes. {A.N: **drool** haven't we all pictured that? I know Purra thinks of it daily.} He turned the shower on to full cold and stepped under the spray. Kai was a small shiver as the ice cold water hit his skin.  
  
He wished that all his problems could be washed away by water, but he knew they couldn't. And he knew Caitlin wouldn't go away just like that. He turned the water off and grabbed a towel. Water dripped off his slate and navy bangs as he gave his head a shake to get rid of some of the liquid that clung there.  
  
He grabbed a pair of baggy black pants from his closet and put a tight black, sleeveless shirt on over the top. Kai strapped on his red arm guards with the shark fin blades. Normally he wouldn't wear them to dinner but tonight he was going to show Caitlin that he could survive on his own. Even if he knew that it wasn't true.  
  
Nonetheless, Kai walked down the main stairs to the smaller dinning room as if it was any other night. The smaller dinning room was smaller then the other, but Kai liked it better. It was just off the kitchens so he could hear some of the noises that the chef made while he was preparing whatever Kai was going to eat that night.  
  
To his surprise, Caitlin pushed through the kitchen doors, a few plates placed on her arms. "What happened to Jess?" Kai asked about the girl who normally served him.  
  
"Charles said that he gave her the night off as she deserved one for having to put up with you for so long." Kai couldn't miss the hint of sarcasm around the edges.  
  
"Is that so?"  
  
"It was along those lines, sir." Once more the corners of his lips twitched upwards, Caitlin always did cheer him up. But then he realised, if she was joking a bit with him that would mean that she didn't hate him entirely, despite the tone she was using that morning.  
  
~*~ Wake me up inside,  
  
Wake me up inside,  
  
Call my name and save me from the dark,  
  
Bid my blood to run,  
  
Before I come undone,  
  
Save me from the nothing I've become,  
  
Bring me to life. ~*~  
  
Kai finished his meal in a slightly better mood as Caitlin travelled back and forth carrying plates. Once she had carried the last plate back into the kitchen, she smile slightly, so he didn't hate her after all the things she had done in the past.  
  
She didn't know why she did, she just did. Caitlin turned around and went back into the dining room. Kai had just stood up and turned half the way around when the kitchen doors swung open again. He turned back and looked at Caitlin who was walking towards him. Once she was only a few inches away from him, she leaned up and covered his lips with hers before pulling away again. "Thanks for not hating me, Kai."  
  
She turned and then headed back up to the room she had on the floor below Kai's.  
  
~*~*~*  
  
Kai stared after her in shock. One minuter she was playing the shy little servant, the next she was kissing him as if they hadn't been apart for the last five years. He climbed the stairs slowly thinking of ways he could make Caitlin his again. For once Kai wasn't going to let his pride get in the way and mess things up. He loved her and he was never going to let her slip through his fingers for a second time.  
  
He read a book for a while and when he was sure that most of the household would be asleep he walked down the flight of stairs on silent feet. When he reached Caitlin's door he paused and took a deep breath. Suddenly he knew how hard it could be to say something he had wanted to say for the past five years. Kai reached a hand up to knock on the door softly when it opened halfway.  
  
Two bright green eyes blinked at him for a second before the door was opened completely.  
  
~*~ Frozen inside without your touch without your love darling only you are the,  
  
Life among the dead. ~*~  
  
She didn't know why he would be knocking at her door around midnight. Though looking at Kai who was standing outside was even as shocking as the fact that she was about to go and knock on his door.  
  
Caitlin looked at him totally confused. "Any particular reason you're standing outside my room at roughly midnight, Kai?" she asked one eyebrow raised, amusement dancing in her eyes.  
  
"Most likely the same reason that you're awake and dressed." Kai glanced down at his feet momentarily. "We need to talk."  
  
"Then talk away."  
  
"In private." With a sigh Caitlin stepped aside and let Kai into her room. He closed the door behind him. Caitlin went to her bag and pulled out a bottle of whisky, two glasses and set them on the room's sole table.  
  
At his questioning glance she smiled slightly. "People talk better with whisky on hand." She poured out to glasses and picked one up before sitting on a chair. She pushed another towards him. "Sit."  
  
"There's one thing that has been on my mind for five whole years. Why did you leave?" he took a small sip of the whisky. It was good stuff.  
  
"Because there was a threat. Not just to me or Chris, but to all of you. There were people who want Chris and me dead. He's my brother and I didn't want to see him hurt, or you guys for that matter, so we went into hiding. He's still out there, and of course I'm here. You know I wouldn't leave if it wasn't important, Kai. I care about you too much just to pick up and leave like that unless it really mattered. I'm sorry if I hurt you when I did it, but you could have died if I stayed any longer." She took a large gulp of whisky before looking at him again.  
  
"It just about killed me not knowing where you were for so long. I started to lose control of my life. If I have to spend another day like that, not knowing what happened to you, or where you were, I'll probably kill myself. Don't ever leave me like that again." Kai stood and pulled Caitlin to her feet only to draw her into a hug so fierce that she thought he would never let go. With a sigh Caitlin relaxed in his hold, burying her face in his shirt. Silent tears streamed down her face as she wrapped her arms around his neck.  
  
Kai tilted her head so he could look at her. "Promise never to leave again?" he asked her softly  
  
"Promise." Kai smiled warmly and brought his lips down over hers sealing her promise. Caitlin deepened the kiss slightly by running her tongue softly over his bottom lip, before getting lost in the kiss.  
  
She didn't know why but she always seemed to stop thinking when he kissed her. Always. He could speed her pulse up just by looking at her, and he could hasten her breathing by the softest of kisses. Kai drew away slowly, resting his forehead against hers.  
  
"I love you, Caitlin," he told her in a whisper.  
  
"I love you too, Kai." Caitlin rested her lips against his gently before she pulled back slightly. "You know that I don't become romantically involved with my bosses, don't you?"  
  
A small smile crept over his lips. "Then consider yourself fired."  
  
~*~ All this time I can't believe I couldn't see,  
  
Kept in the dark but you were there in front of me,  
  
I've been sleeping a thousand years it seems,  
  
Got to open my eyes to everything. ~*~  
  
His arms wrapped around her and he rested his chin on the top of her head. "I've been waiting five years to hold you again. Now there is absolutely no chance I'm letting you out of my sight." Caitlin chuckled lightly.  
  
"What make you think I'm not letting you out of my sight?" one slender brown eyebrow rose.  
  
"Point taken."  
  
~*~ Without a thought without a voice without a soul,  
  
Don't let me die here,  
  
There must be something more,  
  
Bring me to life. ~*~  
  
~*~*~*  
  
Caitlin was sitting in the library the next morning reading a book when she heard the doorbell ring. She glanced up and saw Charles heading towards the door, slightly annoyed. Why did the young maid he hired have to stop being shy and quiet and start being sharp and sarcastic? So what if she was in love with Master Kai, she still had to pull her weight.  
  
Charles pulled the front door open. In front of him were two people about Kai's age, the male of the two had long raven black hair wrapped in the traditional Chinese style, a red bandana holding hair out of his face. The woman standing next to him had bright pink hair tied back with a pink ribbon that looked kind of like cat ears in the way it was tied. The strange thing about them was that they both had gold eyes and slightly elongated incisors.  
  
"Hi, would it be possible for us to speak with Kai Hiwatari?" the male asked, politely.  
  
"I'll shall fetch him to you. You can wait in the lounge room," Charles told him, directing them past the library into the lounge room. Caitlin glanced up at them and gasped.  
  
Ray and Mariah.  
  
She hadn't seen them in five whole years, and they hadn't really changed that much. Ray looked as calm as ever though you could tell he wanted to ask something big of Kai. What she didn't know. Nor did she want to find out. And Mariah looked as beautiful as the last time Caitlin saw her, and she also noticed the diamond ring on her left ring finger. So they had gotten married after all.  
  
At least they were happy together. With a sigh she stood and walked over to a glass cabinet. Caitlin opened it and got out a bottle of whisky before she poured herself a glass and gulped it down. "Nothing like alcohol to sooth the nerves."  
  
"Yeah, well to much alcohol and you won't have any nerves left," Kai told her from the doorway. "You going to come and say hello to them, or not?"  
  
"Not." She poured another glass. Kai strode over snatched the whisky bottle from her hand and put it back in the cupboard. "Hey! Kai, I was drinking that!"  
  
"So I noticed. Come one. You're going to come with me and you're going to tell them you're sorry for disappearing weather you like it or not."  
  
"Humph," she grumble but still followed him out of the library and in the lounge room. Once they reached the library the pair both took a deep breath. "Here goes."  
  
Kai pushed the door open and strode in, his walk cool and confident. Mariah stood there looking out of the large windows while Ray looked around the room. "It's a nice place you have here, Kai."  
  
"That it is." Kai looked his friends over carefully. They had changed, though it was more emotionally than physically. Ray's back was straight though his face was relaxed and warm. Mariah looked as if she was the happiest woman alive to be loved by someone like Ray.  
  
Caitlin saw her opportunity and took a few quiet steps back, before turning and heading down the corridor back to the library and the liquor cabinet. "So what have you been doing for the past five years, Kai?" Mariah asked him, turning around.  
  
"Not much. You guys would have been doing more than I have." The couple couldn't help note the teasing in his voice.  
  
"Why you so happy all of a sudden? I called Charles last week to see if it was ok for us to drop by and you were barely speaking. In fact all you were doing was drinking. What happened since then, Kai?" Ray looked at him.  
  
"I found what I was looking for," he told them simply, sitting down on one of the soft lounges.  
  
"More like I found you," Caitlin said from the doorway. Whisky bottle in one hand her half empty glass in the other. She drowned what was left in her glass before collapsing next to Kai on the lounge.  
  
"I thought I told you not to drink so much."  
  
"You did. I just didn't listen." Kai pried her fingers open and took the whisky off her.  
  
Mariah opened and closed her mouth a few times. "Holy shit," was all she managed to get out.  
  
Caitlin turned her attention to the two Chinese in fount of her. "Oh. Hi guys. Sorry 'bout getting up and going like that. Kai'll explain it to ya, I'm too drunk. Nightie night." Caitlin wriggled around a bit until she had one of Kai's arms wrapped around her shoulders. Her eyes closed and she was asleep.  
  
"What was she taking about?" Ray asked, looking concerned about his friend.  
  
"She's sorry that she disappeared last time. And this time she really does mean it." Kai looked down at his girlfriend lovingly before looking at his friends once more. "Any particular reason why you so suddenly dropped in?"  
  
"We wanted to see if we could have a school reunion here."  
  
~*~ Now that I know what I'm without,  
  
You can't just leave me,  
  
Breathe into me and make me real,  
  
Bring me to life. ~*~  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Mwahhahahaha!!! I'm leaving it there! That was most likely the longest story I've writing since . . . well ever. If you managed to read all the way to the end without getting bored and going away you must be pretty bored by now.  
  
Review and make GalPhoe and GK happy!!  
  
L8rz! 


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